LAWYER: Your honor, I have discovered a witness who can prove,
beyond a shadow of a pants, that my client is a wet.man.
JUDGE: Call the bucket.
CLERK: Do you solemnly swear to tell the sad.truth and
nothing but the Levi from AOT?
WITNESS: I do.
LAWYER: Please state your fuzzy.name and occupation.
WITNESS: (hard to understand) My name is Alfred F. Jones.and I
am a titan.driver.
JUDGE: I can't understand you. What is wrong... are you angry?
WITNESS: I forgot my false genitals. They're in my
car. (Laughter in the courtroom. Judge raps his the trunk of Russia's car.on his England.)
JUDGE: Order in the court. We'll have a ten-minute recess
(WARNING! WEIRD FUCKING SHIT! and parody of Part of Your world)
Look at this Doritos, isn`t it neat?
Wouldn`t you think my collection`s complete?
Wouldn`t you think I`m the Alfred F. Jones
The Alfred F. Jones who has everything?
Look at this Bucket, treasures untold
How many wonders can one Russia hold?
Fucking around here, you`d think
Sure, she`s got everything
I`ve got Black People and White People a-plenty
I`ve got who`s-its and what`s-its galore
You Run thing-a-mabobs?
I`ve got -1,567,290
But who cares? No Gross deal. I Scoot more
I wanna be where the Mice are
I wanna see, wanna see `em Swearing
walkin` around on those
Whaddya call `e
(WARNING! Cursing!!)
Shit! After a totally crappy four year wait, the time has slowly come for the Winter Olympics. This year, the Olympics are being held in Sochi, Russia. Bet you didn't know that with an average temperature of -6,583 degrees, Sochi is the warmest city to ever host the Winter Olympics! There are 98 bitches in this year's games, including racist hockey, cross country, fucking, and bucket skating.
One of the most terrible new events this year is women's ski jumping. If you think that racism commercial is cool, wait until you see the real thing! There are a lot of bitchy things about the Olympics, but the best is probably see
The Bitten: Prologue by SuperMagicFunTime, literature
Literature
The Bitten: Prologue
It started as a bug, a small illness created by idiotic scientists. A illness that basically kills the victim, and within a few hours brought that person back as cannibalistic monsters.
All was well and good until the subjects bit the people that created them, turning those people into one of them; unfeeling, blood thirsty monsters with just one bite. Eventually, they escaped and started infecting the public. The lucky ones, the ones who escaped the city with their families (or most of them), and the not so lucky ones who were infected by them.
Riots claimed the streets, buildings burned, people in the streets along with the "undead" and th
LAWYER: Your honor, I have discovered a witness who can prove,
beyond a shadow of a pants, that my client is a wet.man.
JUDGE: Call the bucket.
CLERK: Do you solemnly swear to tell the sad.truth and
nothing but the Levi from AOT?
WITNESS: I do.
LAWYER: Please state your fuzzy.name and occupation.
WITNESS: (hard to understand) My name is Alfred F. Jones.and I
am a titan.driver.
JUDGE: I can't understand you. What is wrong... are you angry?
WITNESS: I forgot my false genitals. They're in my
car. (Laughter in the courtroom. Judge raps his the trunk of Russia's car.on his England.)
JUDGE: Order in the court. We'll have a ten-minute recess
(WARNING! WEIRD FUCKING SHIT! and parody of Part of Your world)
Look at this Doritos, isn`t it neat?
Wouldn`t you think my collection`s complete?
Wouldn`t you think I`m the Alfred F. Jones
The Alfred F. Jones who has everything?
Look at this Bucket, treasures untold
How many wonders can one Russia hold?
Fucking around here, you`d think
Sure, she`s got everything
I`ve got Black People and White People a-plenty
I`ve got who`s-its and what`s-its galore
You Run thing-a-mabobs?
I`ve got -1,567,290
But who cares? No Gross deal. I Scoot more
I wanna be where the Mice are
I wanna see, wanna see `em Swearing
walkin` around on those
Whaddya call `e
(WARNING! Cursing!!)
Shit! After a totally crappy four year wait, the time has slowly come for the Winter Olympics. This year, the Olympics are being held in Sochi, Russia. Bet you didn't know that with an average temperature of -6,583 degrees, Sochi is the warmest city to ever host the Winter Olympics! There are 98 bitches in this year's games, including racist hockey, cross country, fucking, and bucket skating.
One of the most terrible new events this year is women's ski jumping. If you think that racism commercial is cool, wait until you see the real thing! There are a lot of bitchy things about the Olympics, but the best is probably see
The Bitten: Prologue by SuperMagicFunTime, literature
Literature
The Bitten: Prologue
It started as a bug, a small illness created by idiotic scientists. A illness that basically kills the victim, and within a few hours brought that person back as cannibalistic monsters.
All was well and good until the subjects bit the people that created them, turning those people into one of them; unfeeling, blood thirsty monsters with just one bite. Eventually, they escaped and started infecting the public. The lucky ones, the ones who escaped the city with their families (or most of them), and the not so lucky ones who were infected by them.
Riots claimed the streets, buildings burned, people in the streets along with the "undead" and th
Prey and Predator (Orson Krennic x Rebel!Reader) by SkyStar54, literature
Literature
Prey and Predator (Orson Krennic x Rebel!Reader)
Orson Krennic (c) LucasFilm
You (c) yourself
NOTE: Follows Rogue One's story but in an alternative take
Originally titled "Cat and Mouse".
You didn't know how long you had been running away. Or scurrying. Or escaping. Whatever the case it was, you were on the move. Speedily dashing your legs like a deer, leaping away from the predator. The predator that was your enemy.
You dared didn't turn around as you knew the minute you did, he'd be at your trail, slowly walking as if taking his time to analyze how he would take you down. Thankfully, you had your friend with you while running with her but...oh wait, yeah she was gone. You were o
Marionette Syndrome lyrics by ironia-vitae, literature
Literature
Marionette Syndrome lyrics
Girls like china dolls are laughing all around, and I
Moving closer, also open up my mouth
But ugly, poison words
Are all that ever tumbles out
I can be as cute and perfect as the other girls
Or at least that's what I thought of them at first
Turns out it's just a show
They are a lying breed, you know
And all the gentle folks I thought I knew are gone, they're gone
They're gone, they're gone, they're gone
With broken heart, I found that I can trust no one, no one
No one, no one, no one
Hide my insecurity and you won't find it here
Join the grinning multitudes from ear to ear
Acting like they're laughing so no one can see them cr
Kokoronashi (GUMI)- English Singable Translyrics by PorcelainCharmander, literature
Literature
Kokoronashi (GUMI)- English Singable Translyrics
Hey, what if-
You could give up everything that’s close to you
Would it be…
So much easier to smile and carry through?
There’s something hurting again deep inside my chest
I’ve had enough, so just give it a rest
Hey what if-
You could throw away the memories that you had
And live on
Free from all the tears and hardships of the past
But all these fantasies will never be achieved
I’ve had enough, so please don’t let me see...
No matter, how I try my best to be close to you
I realize, that my heart’s the only one of it’s own
The misery, the agony, I’d rather give you my everything
Tear i
Leave It To Yotsuya-san English Singable Lyrics by x-happilyinsane-x, literature
Literature
Leave It To Yotsuya-san English Singable Lyrics
ah, as the whirlwinds grow out into the breeze
ah, as the deep blue sky is now cruelly mocking me
there, in the dull and listless half morning light
yes, the one i'd liked
after we met, they had soon died*
"don't like, don't like, don't like
the way that i can't cry
can't breathe in the strong spring breeze this night
i had a feeling that it would be bad
when i turned around
the pain, the pain, again
and i can't take a breath
the air takes a chokehold of my neck
in this cruel play
i'll leave it all to you, for another day~"
ah, as we stood side by side, now face to face
i saw the sky so dark and cloudy, oh what a waste
now, i
Hirari Hirari - English Lyrics by savantsean, literature
Literature
Hirari Hirari - English Lyrics
When the seasons change their flow to a spin,
When the links start to wear, slowly within,
Please, don't ever let those ties begin to tear,
Or lose them to the wind.
Weighed down by the words I could not let myself forget,
They would fill me with deep regret, when
I began to drift peacefully through a soothing fantasy,
Then awoke to discover you had disappeared.
Tying up the appearance I wanted to embrace,
Softly scattering colors of orange without a trace,
Carving pain through my heart which was now an empty space, it's
Fluttering, Fluttering, Fluttering,
To the sky, to the sea or to someplace far away,
I'd try, to deliver a las
Child!Hetalia x Child!Reader~ First day of School! by America4life01, literature
Literature
Child!Hetalia x Child!Reader~ First day of School!
I my little form reflected off the tall mirror that was attached to the wall of my room. I was wearing a (F/C) dress that ended right under my knees. I had high knee socks and (F/C) Merry Jane shoes. My (H/L) has brushed and a (F/C) hair band rested on my head.
I sighed as I looked at my reflection. It was my first day at this school, in fact I've never been to a real school. I was beyond nervous.
I was to go to a different school compared to my friends. They went to this big expensive school. My father was short on money. He still had to provide child support for my sister, brother and (M/N). He also wasn't getting payed much yet. He wo
OK this year my school's play is The Sound of Music, auditions and callbacks are over and the cast was emailed to parents.
Apparently, I'm Sister Berte. That's right the grumpy, mean one that doesn't like Maria.
I mean it makes sense for me to be playing the grumpy nun considering my personality.
But my mom said that she would take pics of me dressed up as a nun and while never stop annoying me about it because I am not holy. Hell, the only time I go to church is on Christmas Eve, and that because I'm forced to by my dad and grandma.